Etiquette – forgradstudents

Fireside Chat: How to Be Successful at a Conference

You are prepared to attend the conference. You’ve done you preplanning. Now what? Let’s talk about being at the conference and what you can do to be successful.

Imagine – see yourself at the conference. See yourself walking with confidence the whole time you are at the meeting. Even if you are an introvert like I am. It’s important that others perceive you as having confidence. I always say – Walk like you are in NYC (New York City). That is, walk like you know where you are going even if you don’t. Don’t appear like a deer in headlights.

Name tags – pesky and annoying as they are, they are important. A valuable lesson I learned from a politician was to wear your name tag on your right side. It feels comfortable and natural for me to place it on my left side given that I am right handed.

The politician explained to me that the reason for wearing the name tag on the right side was so when you extend your hand to shake and introduce yourself with your name, that person you are meeting can look up from your hand/arm to your name tag and see your face. The association of name and face is important and helps people to remember who you are.

If your name tag is on the left side, then the person you are meeting has to lean over to read your name while trying to shake your hand and then back to see your face. It doesn’t flow.

What do you do if that name tag is on a string? Never fails that string is too long. For me, I find the name tag on the string hangs down to my midsection. I don’t want someone bending down to read my name tag around my stomach.

There is an easy fix. I always pack two magnets. I place one magnet on the inside of the back portion of the plastic cover of the name tag and the other magnet behind my jacket or shirt on the RIGHT side and not hang the name tag on the string.

If I forget to bring my magnets then I tie up the string to shorten it. That just doesn’t work ask well as having the name tag on my right side.

Appearance – Be mindful of what you wear to the conference. Your appearance is so important. You have less than 10 seconds to make that first impression and it is a lasting one.

It’s not easy to interpret what is meant by business casual, especially for women. For the men, it usually means a shirt, no tie, and a jacket or a golf shirt and jacket. For women there is not a standard business casual uniform. So what I say is this … it’s not tee shirts and flip flops.

You always want to look like the professional you are. Most decisions about a person are made nonverbally as you walk through the door.

Quick Recap

Remember name tag on the right side
Walk with confidence.
Dress and look like a professional who already has the job
Enjoy the conference!

Fireside Chat: Conference Job Search Strategies

My niece called the other day asking for assistance. She was going on the job market and attending a conference where company reps and recruiters would attend. The first thing I asked her was, “Has your major professor talked you about what to do?” I wasn’t surprised by her answer – no. So, I told her that she wants to be better prepared than I was attending my first meeting.

I remember my first conference – early on in my graduate career. I was clueless of what to expect. Good thing I wasn’t on the job market. Good thing I had a fellow grad student with me. Together we managed to navigate the large meeting and exhibits.

If I knew then what I know now, my first meeting would have been even more successful. First thing I do now is to scan the pre-program to identify speakers with whom I want to connect. I may do some research on them. Read some of their papers. Check them out on LinkedIn and Google them.

Next, I prepare a question or two to ask. A question that is more open ended. One that requires more than a yes or no answer. I always like to follow up with a “How so?” You always get more information that way.

When scanning the program I look for any pre-conference workshops where I can add something of value to my “tool box”. Find additional people with whom I can connect. I look for any dinner or reception opportunities where I can network.

Coffee breaks are important times. I use them to seek out people I want to meet or with whom to reconnect. I’m always keeping my network current. Finding out new pieces of information that can be helpful. Sharing what I am doing is important so my information gets circulated as well. Plan coffee breaks well – they are important. Make sure you plan to get some coffee too!

Go to the meeting prepared. Have you ever thought about your business cards? What you don’t have one? Even graduate students need a professional business card with current information. Business cards are important. I always present my card with my name facing the individual to whom I am giving the card. Why would I do that? I want them to remember me and know my name. It’s also very appropriate in different cultures to do it that way.

You can present your card to the speaker or to your new contact and write on the back of the card the question or the “ask” you want the person to do. For example, you may want to ask for a copy of their paper or survey instrument.

Write that ask on the back of the card. This serves as a reminder to your new contact of what it is you are wanting. It also helps them remember you when they return home. That is important!

You may be asking your new or existing contact for a referral. Maybe this person can’t assist you. Always ask, “Professor Smith, who would you recommend I speak with about X?”

They may give you a name of a person to contact. You can write that on the back of the card they gave you. Always ask Professor Smith if you can use their name when making contact with the person. That will assist you in your next step when you reach out to that contact you are now connected through Professor Smith.

Something simple as, “Mr. Newperson, Professor Smith suggested that I contact you regarding X.” The door is now open for you to engage Mr. Newperson in a conversation.

When you are meeting someone and exchanging business cards, take an extra second to carefully present your business card so the person receiving it can read your name. When you receive theirs, take a moment and read it before putting it in a safe place.

I make sure I have two designated places to store my business cards. One place is for my card, so it is readily available when needed – I don’t want to fumble around looking for my card. The other place is for the cards I receive. Never shall the two meet. That could be embarrassing if they get mixed together and you give out someone else’s card for yours. I also don’t want to be seen shuffling though business cards to find mine – I did that once – not recommended.

It doesn’t take much to be prepared and your time and effort will pay off in a successful experience at the conference. Much like my niece’s experience was.

Here is a quick recap.

Prepare before the meeting by scanning the program
Planning your strategy for each part of the program
Draft a few ice breaker questions
Have your business cards ready
Ask for a referral

Fireside Chat: Social Etiquette and Table Tops

Have you ever noticed that there are never enough table tops at a reception and the ones that are there are always taken? People lay claim to them as if they were staking a claim on a gold mine. Well, table tops are valuable and few in number for a reason. The idea is for us to mingle with food. The organizers want to ensure that we don’t become squatters in one place, but rather circulate and network.

Yep, you have seen me make that mad dash and stake claim to one of the tables. Why? It’s all because of toothpicks and my lack of ability to juggle a plate of food while trying to carry on an intelligent conversation.

How good are you at juggling? Some of you have to be better at it than me. I could do with some practice. Although it seems that with all my years as a Dean, and the many informal and formal receptions and events I have attended, you would think that I have mastered the skill of balancing food plates, drink glasses, and napkins. (A skill not taught in graduate school, perhaps it should be).

It seems that every time I go to a reception I am trying to balance a drink in one hand and a plate of food in the other with a napkin. It never fails. I am doing a great job balancing and then someone comes up to me. They introduce themselves and extend a hand to shake. Now what? I’m still looking for that magic recipe or dissertation on “How to succeed at a reception with food.” If you find a good source, let me know.

Ever notice that the server with tray of the most delicious appetizers always approaches you. Then you spot it – the toothpick- speared through the cheese cube or something wrapped around a water chestnut, or my favorite – chocolate covered strawberries.

It’s over before it begins. I just give up. It’s just too hard a task for me. It’s not that I don’t want the appetizer. I love food – but it’s the balancing of multiple plates in my hand and those little decorative “party” toothpicks.

What do I do with the toothpicks when I am finished eating the appetizer? If I succumb to weakness and select a food item off the tray with a toothpick and enjoy eating that tiny food morsel – Now what? What do I do with the toothpick?

As women, we are at a disadvantage. No pockets. No pockets in jackets, no pockets in slacks, no pockets anywhere. What were the designers thinking? We need pockets to store those toothpicks. That’s one place I could stash that toothpick, but then again, I don’t want to get home and find a pocket full of toothpicks.

Ever notice the server with the tray is never to be found again especially when you are ready to “give back” that little toothpick?

So what do you do? What are some best practices for handling toothpicks, juggling plates and glasses, and laying claim to a table top?

Here are five effective strategies that I found to be effective.

Eat before you attend a reception, so you only have one hand holding the glass; keep it in your left hand so your right hand is available to shake hands.
If you can prearrange with your colleagues that one of them or you lay claim to a table top. Do so and do it quickly and with gusto! The table top can serve as your staging area. You can deposit your toothpicks wrapped in a napkin and leave it on the table. The table top can hold your glass, plate and you can be hands free. This allows you to move about the room and mingle without food or drink.
What if the table tops are taken? This strategy always works for me. Find a table top that is not too crowded. Approach slowly, stealth fully, and with a smile. Ask, “May I set my glass here?” The answer will always be a “yes”. So, squeeze in and claim your space. The wrong question to ask is “Are you saving the table?” Because even if they are not, they most likely will say “yes”.
Focus on food first, but not food and drink. Best always to make sure you eat before you drink.
Finally, and most importantly, focus on networking and give up the food. Networking is the reason you are there. While I know we have been trained as graduate students (my generation too) to follow the food, you really want to use this time wisely and network.

Next time you see that delicious speared appetizer and an open table top, I know you will have a plan with the end in mind before you engage!