Communication – forgradstudents

Fireside Chat: How to Be an Effective Writer and Not Binge

I used to be a binge writer and would write only when I thought I had enough time – which was never. I thought I needed blocks of time – like complete days – or long afternoons.

For me binge writing was like binging on sweet dark chocolate – chocolate cake or just plain dark chocolate. My favorite is Dove ice cream – not so much for the ice cream but for the dark rich chocolate coating.

I have learned from experience that binging on dark chocolate can make me feel – well not so good. So, I’ve learned to “manage” my binging and keep the richness of the dark chocolate to small amounts.

As with chocolate, I also learned several things from my binge writing days. The days when I would sit in the living room writing my thesis.

A fire was lit in the fireplace on a cold winter morning and I could see my fellow grad student friends walking to class or to the lab while I was inside with my Cup of Joe writing away.

What I learned was this.

I accomplished less overall by binge writing. Writing the thesis/dissertation is a marathon – not a sprint – so I needed to pace myself.
My binging was not sustainable. I just couldn’t do it day after day. What I discovered was I was spending more time re-reading and re-acquainting myself with my topic. It would have been better to have smaller amounts of time dedicated each day to writing. Not to mention how draining and tiring it is.
I also realized that by expecting too much of myself – I could never achieve my goal. In fact, I learned that it’s best to start with a small goal. “There’s no such thing as too small a goal”. What a small goal did for me is to allow me to see my accomplishments and not get discouraged and quit.
What I learned about writing is what I learned from my love of chocolate cake. Writing is more than eating the chocolate cake – it’s about tasting the frosting or having one small bite. Writing can be that way as well. Writing can be done in bits and pieces. Having attended several writing workshops, I learned there is so much more to writing.
One key piece is to leave off at a spot where I can pick up – so the idea is not to finish all of it – but to get to a place where I can pick up where I left off last time. Sometimes, I would make a list or an outline of what I would write next and use that to get me started. That was a big take away for me. I use it today and share that insight with my students.
The other important piece that I learned from writing workshops is that revising/editing, making an outline, checking references are all part of the writing process. So, when I only had 10 minutes, I can revise a paragraph or check the format of references. Each step gets me closer to my goal.
In a short period of time, I can read my paper and examine my writing from a big picture perspective and ask, Did I make persuasive arguments? or Did I convey my ideas clearly?
Other times, I can focus on word crafting. I learned this from a great teacher – What’s the best word to use here? Do I need a better adjective or fewer adjectives?
Does the paper flow? Does it logically move from one paragraph to the next? Do I have my topic sentences at the beginning of the paragraphs?
Finally, I learned to check for typos and punctuations by reading the paper outload and then focusing on each word to find typos. We all know how self-correcting word processing has-a-mind of its own – it may not be the word we were typing.

To Recap:

Avoid binge writing it’s not sustainable
Set smaller goals
Leave off where you can pick up again
There is more to writing than writing
Revising and editing are all part of writing

Finally, if I write in long hand first and then type it up, I am more efficient as I am not trying to edit as I go.

Writing is hard work and tiring so it’s important to take breaks. dog resting at ocean shore with ball in mouth. Important to take a break after a hard workout!

Fireside Chat: How to Prepare for One-on-One Meetings with Your Faculty Advisor

Daunting– that’s the word I could use to describe my first meeting with my faculty advisor – Awkwardis another – Why? Being a first-generation grad student, I was unprepared and/or unaware of how to make my meetings with my major professor efficient, effective and successful.

Over the years I have been a student of what makes successful meetings and to this day, I have faculty who will gladly come to any committee meeting I hold.

Why? I am prepared, focused, effective and efficient – I don’t waste their time nor mine. Faculty members just like grad students are busy with lots of professional and personal demands on their time.

Preparing for your meeting is an important step for success in getting to the finish line – graduation. Being prepared also reduces conflict and misunderstanding. The key is to start early.

Before your meeting you want to send a short email with 1 or 2 sentences describing the major objectives of your meeting – notice I said your meeting. You need to take control if you want to graduate. You can’t be passive. You want to be active. Person typing on computer sending an email

Use the subject line of your email to catch your advisor’s attention. If you don’t hear back within 5 to 10 days, send your email again.

In that email send any materials or documents you need your major advisor to read and review. They need it ahead of time – so they can think and reflect. Not the day before – their schedules are tight so allow at least a week or several days.

Prepare an agenda complete with action items and questions or topics for discussion. Have 3 or 4 main topics/or questions to discuss.

Send minutes and a reminder email. This is helpful. Of course, you have figured out the date, time and location and you have included that in the email. The bottom line is – come well prepared – if you do, you will find that things move forward more efficiently. There still will be hurdles and challenges to address and you will be in a better position to do so.

During the meeting make sure you show up on time. Follow your agenda and ask clarifying questions. You will want to bring concrete things for your advisor to provide feedback.

Think about how your advisor might assist you. If there are professional as well as any personal issues that may influence how you complete the milestones – keep them informed. You don’t have to reveal your personal life and at times we all know that “life happens” (funeral, flu outbreak) and it is important to inform your advisor and not just disappear. Keep them informed.

Remember to ask questions. Your questions help them to be better teachers of you.

Focus on what your advisor is saying. They are providing feedback to assist you. Ask clarifying questions about the feedback. If they are giving you directions be sure to follow them. Nothing irritates an advisor more than to provide constructive feedback and directions and they are ignored.

Agree on the milestones you can meet. Record action items. Who is doing what and by when. Note pad and Pen taking minutes and recording action action items

After the meeting post minutes. Even though you and your faculty advisor each took notes, it’s important to have minutes. You can send them out with the next agenda as well. By sending the minutes or a quick recap of the meeting, you can summarize action items. You can summarize the deliverables as well.

The Key to all thisis to start early. Have meetings even if they are only for 10 minutes. Meeting 1 x a week for 10 minutes can make a difference and move you closer to the finish line – graduation.

When in doubt ask even when not in doubt ask. You may find you have discovered an unclarified point.

Maintain on-going discussions about expectations with your advisor and yourself. Take home to reflect on your expectations and goals. They do change over time.

Remember you are preparing yourself to contribute new knowledge to your field. You are giving shape to a “new” you from consumer of knowledge to producer of knowledge. The adventure of discovery and meetings should assist you in that process.

Finally, remember your advisor is not a manager. It’s important to see your advisory as a catalyst and a facilitator.

You are in control of shaping your own graduate career. It’s up to you to get to the finish line and you will.

PhD comic strip about meeting with a professor where you did'nt do your work and he forgets about is as he is distracted

Fireside Chat: A True Story – Asking Questions is Key to Learning

There we were in Dr. Lewis’ textile chemistry class. Organic chemistry was the prerequisite. This was a very serious class. Dr. Lewis never smiled.

She would walk into the classroom and begin writing formulas on the board. You could hear only the scratching of our pencils as we frantically wrote in our notebooks trying to keep up. No one dared to speak or ask a question.

It had been a while since I had organic chemistry and it wasn’t coming back as quickly as I had hoped. One day as I sat in class, I was confused. I was too scared to raise my hand. No one ever asked a question. If looks could kill – she was very good at giving you this look – the “look that could kill.”

After class that day, I asked my classmates, “Did you know what Dr. Lewis was talking about?” They all said, no.

That was an “ah ha” moment for me. Up until that time, I thought everyone else in that class understood everything Dr. Lewis was teaching, everyone but me. I was experiencing lots of self-doubt. I figured everyone else was better prepared than I was.

My “ah ha” moment was this. There we were sitting in our graduate textile chemistry class and no one seemed to understand what was being taught. No one was brave enough to ask a question. I thought for a moment. This is “stupid”.

So, the next class as Dr. Lewis was writing away on the board, I got the courage to raise my hand. When she turned around Dr. Lewis was surprised to see a hand raised. She gave me a look – I held my breath. She called on me. I asked my question. Dr. Lewis answered it.

After class everyone came over and thanked me for asking that question. They didn’t know the answer either. It took courage to raise my hand and ask my question. After that class, my fellow classmates became brave and started asking questions. I learned that once one hand raises and breaks the “ice”, others follow shortly thereafter. If you can raise your hand to ask a question the first time, it becomes easier each time thereafter.

What I learned from that experience is this. Questioning is the art of learning. It’s okay to ask questions. Asking questions is the best evidence of understanding.

Questioning is important. Questioning is the key means by which professors find out what graduate students know, identify gaps in knowledge and understanding. If the professors are excellent teachers, they can scaffold the development of the students’ understanding to enable them to close the gap between what they currently know and the learning goals.

I learned that brilliant thinkers and scholars never stop asking questions. “Asking questions is the single most important habit for innovative thinkers,” says Paul Sloane, the UK’s top leadership speaker on innovation.

Asking questions is the simplest and most effective way of learning. Children are proficient at asking lots of questions. That’s how they learn.

I learned a lot from Dr. Lewis’ textile chemistry class in addition to the chemistry. Every time I teach, I make a point to smile, engage my students, and encourage them to ask questions. It is their questions that keep me learning.

Dr. Lewis got used to us asking questions and I learned a lot in her class. We did get her to smile. Sometimes teachers don’t realize that their student aren’t at the same level of understanding. It’s important to explain things in different ways to reach all the students in the class.

If you don’t ask, you won’t know. I always say “the only dumb question is the one not asked”. Have courage – raise your hand. Ask a question.

“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who doesn’t ask a question remains a fool forever.” Chinese Proverb

Fireside Chat: A True Story About the 3 Minute Thesis

What can you do in 3 minutes? Boil a kettle, make toast, listen to a song, wash your face, and get rice into the rice cooker? In 3 minutes 750 births happen; 1 million tweets are tweeted; and a graduate student can present the core of their research in a compelling way with one slide.

An 80,000-word thesis or dissertation would take 9 hours to present – their time limit is 3 minutes.

What a fascinating idea. Sharing your thesis in 3 minutes and one slide. How could that be? I was intrigued.

Here’s my story of how my curiosity and my passion for educating graduate students led me to bring the 3MT^TMto the U.S. – first at the University of Georgia. I then shared my discovery with the rest of the Graduate Community. Today, it’s been adopted in some form or another across the U.S. and into Canada.

I discovered the 3 Minute Thesis ^TMcompetition while talking with a colleague from the University of Queensland (networking). We were at a meeting in Munich, Germany in 2011. I can still see us standing around during a coffee break.

Several folks were talking about a three- minute thesis. A three-minute what? I was curious.

Once they explained it to me, I was hooked on the idea. It was exciting and challenging to share your research in 3 minutes or less to an intelligent lay audience with one static slide, no dancing, and no props. That’s not all, you had to engage your audience to want to learn more.

Returning home to Athens, Georgia, I gathered my team and said, “We’re going to do a 3 Minute Thesis ^TMCompetition! We’re going to do it this year! This competition is so relevant for our students to hone their communication skills. It will be fun.” You should have seen the surprised look on their faces. That was October and we did it! We held the first 3MT^TMto my knowledge in the U.S. on March 29, 2012.

Why did I push so hard? What was my vision? I wanted to help grad students succinctly communicate what they were doing – what their scholarship was about – and the “so what” of it.

I saw the value of these students sharing their knowledge to a wider community. As it happened – they are holding 3 MT^TMcompetitions across the U.S. It’s an important career and employability skill.

A skill essential for career advancement. Students need to be able to communicate technical information to a smart intelligent lay audience like policy makers, or in a job interview, or to their grandmother.

The competitions are amazing. I learn so much each time I attend one. It’s tough to judge these – I know, I served as a judge.

Students learn as much by preparing for the competition. They learn how long or short 3 minutes are. They learn not to speak using jargon.

Most importantly, they share with a broader audience 1) the benefit of graduate education, 2) that graduate education is a public good, 3) the new knowledge they created, and 4) they inspire others to want to know more; they peak their curiosity. It’s curiosity that drives the engine of innovation and creation of knowledge.

Several students shared that they practiced giving their talk at a stoplight. Others practice in front of their friends or even in front of their grandmother. If their audience could understand them, they knew they are on the right track.

I knew I had to share the marvelous aspects of the 3MT^TMwith my grad dean colleagues. They could see I was passionate about this competition. They invited me to bring three of my finalists from our competition to “perform” for the Conference of Southern Graduate Schools (CSGS) Deans regional meeting over lunch.

To fully understand. You need to stop a minute and picture the setting in which this was done. Imagine wait staff clearing dishes, the clinging sounds of silverware and glasses being remove from the tables. The distraction of dessert being served. That was our background.

I arose from my table and proceeded to introduce each student one at a time and they each gave their three-minute talk. Each dean was so impressed. I could see it on their faces. Their focus and attention were not on dessert and coffee or a conversation with their neighbor, but rather on each student as they presented.

They were so impressed with how professional, engaging the presentations were, and how the distractions of the clearing of the tables did not bother any of the students. “WOW” was the comment I heard most often followed by, “How do we do this on our campus?”

Next year many of the deans began to implement a 3MT^TMcompetition. Before you knew it, CSGS was holding a regional competition inviting the winners from each campus to compete. Today, regions are sending their winners to the Council of Graduate Schools (CGS) meeting for a national showcase.

I love the 3MT^TM. I love what it can do for students. I love how an idea – an innovation – can be shared for the benefit of our students.

I invited Legislators to meet with our students and experience their three-minute talk. I had our students do their three-minute talk to the Chancellor, to the Board of Trustee members, to Alumni Boards, to my Development Board.

It demonstrates the powerfulness and impact of communication. The audience sees the result of the value added and transformation that occurs in graduate education. They can also see the public good of graduate education.

So next time you have 3 minutes, maybe you will be practicing your talk. It’s not as easy as you think.

Fireside Chat: Emerging Skill Needed for 21st Century Career Sector

What does it take to succeed in today’s 21^stcentury job/career sector? What is different from yesterday when many of us were entering the job “marketplace”? I actively seek out answers to these are questions to assist graduate students and post docs.

I don’t need to tell you that in the future, more jobs will require an education beyond a four-year degree. In just a few short years – we know that millions of new and replacement jobs will require a graduate degree. That is definitely different from yesterday.

Recently, I had the opportunity to serve on the National Academy of Sciences Committee, “Stem Education for 21^stCentury” and a panel at the National Summit on Developing a Stem Workforce Strategy. This panel included leaders from a variety of technology industries. We discussed the challenges businesses face in developing the work force and how the skills and knowledge of graduate students are needed and valued even more today.

You read the word stem and you are in social sciences or the humanities, this information is as relevant to you as it is to all graduate students. How do I know this?

My research comes from interviews and conversations with CEOs and industry leaders; participating on the Council of Graduate Schools Committee “Pathways Through Graduate Education and into Careers”; listening to graduate students, post docs, alumni; attending a conference, “The Future of Work” and engaging business leaders in conversation about this topic.

I have been asking these questions for years and what I recently discovered is that there is a new skill that emerged. Of the three skills, two were consistently mentioned to me over the years. They are 1) Communication skills both oral and written, and 2) Teamwork, especially interdisciplinary. The emerging skill that is needed is agility or flexibility.

Communication. It’s important for students and professionals to acquire the capacity to communicate the significance and impact of their work to the public at large. It’s what I call the “So What?” factor. Your work is important to you, but how does it relate or impact me or my stake holders? That’s what the public and policy makers want to know.

Interpersonal communication skills are a critical component of being able to work across disciplines or in diverse groups or committees. They are necessary just to get along in the office or the lab.

Industry leaders emphasized the importance of being able to discuss technical issues with nontechnical individuals. This essential skill is needed for job success and career advancement. Tied with that are presentation skills. How does one present their information to engage the audience?

It is critical that all graduate students be able to communicate across generations – from Millennials to GenX to Boomers. Each generation has a different style and way in which they like to communicate from texting to face-to-face meetings. It is incumbent upon us to understand how to communicate across different generations and with diverse intelligent lay audiences. We are trained to communicate effectively with those in our disciplines. We need to expand our skills. The 3 Minute Thesis^TMis an excellent way to practice this.

Teamwork. Why is teamwork so important? Andrew Carnegie said it well. “Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”

Developing the ability to work collaborative in a team involves having depth in your discipline and being able to work effectively with colleagues with expertise in other disciplines from diverse cultural backgrounds. You need to be able to work with different research methodologies and work styles. That is the lay of the land today. This is different from yesterday.

“No problem can be solved alone.” I heard that repeated numerous times over the last few years. “This is how industry works” – is what I also heard. Numerous studies and reports in the literature have documented the importance of the ability to work effectively in teams. Today industry puts people together in teams to solve complex or “wicked” problems or issues. Thus, you need the communication skill set I described above as well as the ability to listen. Yes, problems are more complex today and that is different from yesterday.

Agility or Flexibility. Being agile or flexibleisthe emerging skill that was emphasized as I visited with alumni in the corporate sector. As I listened to leaders and alumni from Non-profits, the Chemical industry, the Tech industry, Textile industry, as well as the law industry, the message was the same. They told me that to be successful and to advance in your career, you need to be agile and flexible.

You need to “Think Big, start small, and move fast.” “Change will be rapid and disruption intense.” You may be working on one project today and have to totally change direction tomorrow or change projects as the company is moving in a new direction.

You need to be able to shift gears quickly and often. If you don’t or can’t, you will be left behind. That message came through loud and clear as I spoke with alumni and industry leaders from across the country.

For you to bring value to the workplace, you have to bring you’re A+ game. That includes having these three skills in your “tool box.” That’s what’s different from yesterday.

Fireside Chat: Communicating Your Science is an Important Professional Skill

There are many skills that a grad student should take away from Graduate School. For those of you in STEM fields (science, engineering, technology, and math) learning to communicate your science to different audiences is critical. You may not believe that now, but consider the poor state of the public’s science understanding.

We do the public a disservice by not assisting them to understand what it is we do. The more they understand, the more they are able to make informed decisions. Communication is a key professional skill and no longer considered a “soft skill.” Every grad student should have communication as a professional skill.

There was a time when those of us in science could be certain that all we had to do was share the facts of our scientific knowledge. At that time, the public valued the knowledge and scientists were generally trusted.

Currently, the public acceptance and understanding of what it is we do and why, or the impact of what we do, can and does influence governmental policy and regulation, whether it is at the local or federal level. That’s why science communication is more important today than ever before.

If we as scientists communicate more effectively, we all benefit and science thrives. The public is looking for us to be able to communicate our discoveries and the resulting impact, or as I like to say, the “so what factor”.

The public is asking “What does it mean for me? What difference does it make?” Why is effective science communication important for you? It affects your ability to have a competitive edge when on the job market or when you are seeking career advancement.

Ultimately, our ability to communicate science effectively enables more informed decision-making at all levels; we all benefit.

However, today, many voices compete in the marketplace of public opinion. Anyone with a laptop, a video camera and a compelling message can share their views on scientific matters that may or may not be rooted in science or even in truth. In fact, today science doesn’t always have the upper hand in matters of critical importance to our country and our world.

As researchers, we often start explaining from the perspective of our own understanding, and sometimes the vast knowledge we have acquired in our field can be an obstacle to clearly communicating our research. It’s challenging for many of us in scientific fields to dial it back to the thousand-foot view so we can communicate with a general audience.

Scientific jargon gets in the way of communicating science. All fields have their own unique jargon, and when we communicate with our peers, they understand our message. But outside our sphere of our discipline, jargon only confuses people – It excludes others from the circle of understanding. Look carefully at the jargon you use, and find terms that explain the principles you want to share. For example, practice explaining your work to a non-scientist relative, what would you say?

Think about why you got interested in your research area in the first place – maybe you wanted to save the environment or provide a safe source of drinking water for people around the world. How did you get from that “Big Idea” to the lab or the field in which you work now? What inspired you and what does your research offer to address the world’s problems. Think about the “so what?” of what you do.

People love stories, and often they will remember a story about your research better than the theories, data and results. Think of a “hook” to catch their attention and reel them in. Engage them. Peek their curiosity.

You may have heard the expression, “people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” Share your passion for your work, and help your audience to understand what it means to them. What challenges are you trying to address? How might your work improve lives?

Of course, there are many ways to communicate your science. A colorful image can look like a piece of art, but the story behind the image can capture the imagination of your audience.

Social media offers opportunities to share a nugget of scientific wisdom. Each media platform offers unique ways to share your science and connect to others in your field.

Whatever your passion, think of ways that you can share it with others. In addition, make it a goal of your graduate education to become a skilled science communicator.

How can I gain experience in communicating science? There is the Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science at Stony Brook University that offers programs for masters and PhD students. The American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) and the New York Academy of Science’s Science and the City program offer opportunities for scientists to engage. There are “science cafes” in many cities, or science museums where you can hone your skill. Finally, don’t forget the 3MT ^TMcompetition that many graduate schools are holding. Many schools are collaborating with faculty from communication disciplines and offering summer workshops and training. It’s up to you!

Fireside Chat: Social Etiquette and Table Tops

Have you ever noticed that there are never enough table tops at a reception and the ones that are there are always taken? People lay claim to them as if they were staking a claim on a gold mine. Well, table tops are valuable and few in number for a reason. The idea is for us to mingle with food. The organizers want to ensure that we don’t become squatters in one place, but rather circulate and network.

Yep, you have seen me make that mad dash and stake claim to one of the tables. Why? It’s all because of toothpicks and my lack of ability to juggle a plate of food while trying to carry on an intelligent conversation.

How good are you at juggling? Some of you have to be better at it than me. I could do with some practice. Although it seems that with all my years as a Dean, and the many informal and formal receptions and events I have attended, you would think that I have mastered the skill of balancing food plates, drink glasses, and napkins. (A skill not taught in graduate school, perhaps it should be).

It seems that every time I go to a reception I am trying to balance a drink in one hand and a plate of food in the other with a napkin. It never fails. I am doing a great job balancing and then someone comes up to me. They introduce themselves and extend a hand to shake. Now what? I’m still looking for that magic recipe or dissertation on “How to succeed at a reception with food.” If you find a good source, let me know.

Ever notice that the server with tray of the most delicious appetizers always approaches you. Then you spot it – the toothpick- speared through the cheese cube or something wrapped around a water chestnut, or my favorite – chocolate covered strawberries.

It’s over before it begins. I just give up. It’s just too hard a task for me. It’s not that I don’t want the appetizer. I love food – but it’s the balancing of multiple plates in my hand and those little decorative “party” toothpicks.

What do I do with the toothpicks when I am finished eating the appetizer? If I succumb to weakness and select a food item off the tray with a toothpick and enjoy eating that tiny food morsel – Now what? What do I do with the toothpick?

As women, we are at a disadvantage. No pockets. No pockets in jackets, no pockets in slacks, no pockets anywhere. What were the designers thinking? We need pockets to store those toothpicks. That’s one place I could stash that toothpick, but then again, I don’t want to get home and find a pocket full of toothpicks.

Ever notice the server with the tray is never to be found again especially when you are ready to “give back” that little toothpick?

So what do you do? What are some best practices for handling toothpicks, juggling plates and glasses, and laying claim to a table top?

Here are five effective strategies that I found to be effective.

Eat before you attend a reception, so you only have one hand holding the glass; keep it in your left hand so your right hand is available to shake hands.
If you can prearrange with your colleagues that one of them or you lay claim to a table top. Do so and do it quickly and with gusto! The table top can serve as your staging area. You can deposit your toothpicks wrapped in a napkin and leave it on the table. The table top can hold your glass, plate and you can be hands free. This allows you to move about the room and mingle without food or drink.
What if the table tops are taken? This strategy always works for me. Find a table top that is not too crowded. Approach slowly, stealth fully, and with a smile. Ask, “May I set my glass here?” The answer will always be a “yes”. So, squeeze in and claim your space. The wrong question to ask is “Are you saving the table?” Because even if they are not, they most likely will say “yes”.
Focus on food first, but not food and drink. Best always to make sure you eat before you drink.
Finally, and most importantly, focus on networking and give up the food. Networking is the reason you are there. While I know we have been trained as graduate students (my generation too) to follow the food, you really want to use this time wisely and network.

Next time you see that delicious speared appetizer and an open table top, I know you will have a plan with the end in mind before you engage!

Fireside Chat: A True Story – Introvert at Important Reception

While it may seem to you that I am an extrovert, I’m really a border line introvert/extrovert with the emphasis on the introvert. It’s not easy for me to break into groups – especially groups where I don’t know anyone. It always seems to me that everyone knows everyone and I am on the outside looking in. Has that ever happened to you?

Never fails – when I walk into a reception I notice all the faculty standing around talking to each other while the rest of us just look on. Over the years I learned how to be more successful in navigating these events. It’s really not that hard.

First, as introverts we have an advantage! We listen. I realized that I am a good listener and that people really like to talk about themselves. So that makes it easy. I let them do the talking and I do the listening. Now I’m connected.

The key for me is to prepare a question to ask and then listen. The question might be about the speaker we just heard, or the latest event happening on campus, or something in the news. It’s just an ice breaker. Or I ask them to tell me about themselves. That one always works.

I also figured out a few ways to gracefully navigate an “escape” from the person that goes on and on. One way is to say. “It’s been great talking with you and I promised ‘so and so’ that I would meet up with them at the break.” Sometimes I am really lucky and another person comes along. That is what I call divine intervention. I don’t feel guilty about leaving, the person talking now has a new person to engage.

As a female I find that it can be difficult at times. I remember this one time when I was at a reception that the Chancellor of the University System was hosting. I wanted to talk to the Chancellor about an important matter and get it on her radar. She was surrounded by a group of male faculty members. They knew where the power was.

My task at hand was how to I break into that circle and speak to her. I looked and found an opening in the circle. Stood there and listened to the conversation.

I had a plan. I was not going to shout my question from across the circle. I had to maneuver closer to where she was standing. So, I slowly kept moving around the circle until I could get right next to her. I did. When I was there standing next to her I engaged her with my question. Because of my proximity, I had her undivided attention.

Later a male faculty member said to me…I saw what you were doing, that was a pretty clever move.

I know you can be clever too.

Fireside Chat: Collaboration and Communication

Collaboration and communication both begin with the letter “C” and so does the word conflict. As we think about or even experience collaboration, we learn first-hand that everyone in our group or team has a different perspective. We see things through different lenses. That is what makes collaboration rich and exciting. At the same time it is our different lenses that create the potential for conflict unless we stop for a moment, spot the conflict (what we are
seeing and experiencing), and be open to receiving and understanding the different perspective. It does not mean we have to change our viewpoint – just be open to receiving other perspectives. When we are open, we are more receptive, we expand, and we grow. That is where the growth is in collaboration.

We all are the same. We all have a different viewpoint, a different way of doing things, a different method to solve problems or issues, a different cultural experience. I could go on and on about differences and that is where conflict can arise – in the differences. As Tom Crum states, “The quality of our lives depends not on whether or not we have conflicts, but on how we respond to them.”

Conflict can be subtle and very passive aggressive or conflict can be “In your face”, New Jersey style. Having lived in many parts of the country from NJ, to the mountains in the west, to the southwest, to the south, I learned how to live in different cultures and to understand different forms of communication and styles of conflict. I was used to the direct in your face style of conflict however, living in the south, that direct style of conflict just would not be appropriate.

Communication is another way we can experience conflict through the collaborative process. The conflict can arise from our different communication styles. That is, how we receive and how we send communication can cause conflict. Let me give you an example of different communication styles or preferences with respect to collaboration.

The other day, I was having an impromptu conversation with two graduate students. One was a Gen X with business/industry experience and the other a millennial coming straight through from an undergraduate program. Both were in the same department and working on doctoral degrees. I engaged them in a conversation about collaboration. What I learned was that Gen X with industry experience had a different understanding with respect to expectations in how to communicate and collaborate with other generations especially with Boomers. Boomers like the face-to-face means of communicating and collaborating. Millennials prefer other means of communication. From our conversation, it became clear to me that different generations have expectationsthat other generations should meet their expectations and preference style in communication. Communication is key to collaboration. As Stephen Covey says, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication.”

The Gen X person was very clear and stressed the importance of collaboration. “Collaboration is an essential skill in the workplace and that you cannot solve all the problems by yourself.” Both students told me how Millennials perceive collaboration differently. The Millennial stated that Millennials collaborate using technology for example on google drive. In so doing, each person can work at different hours; people can do their own thing, and isolation can become an issue. Millennials are collaborating when they add to the document or conversation in google drive. The Gen X had a different perspective. “Collaboration looks different today as a result of technology”. Collaboration happens best when team members “work in person” and not remotely. The Gen X student left me with this thought, “Bigger better ideas come through sharing knowledge and the end result is more innovation.”

What is clear is – as we engage in collaboration, it is important to understand the expectation preferences of each team member’s communication style. Perhaps a hybrid model will evolve to include the best of each generation.

What is important is that each generation wants respect and if we start with that premise, then Collaboration and Communication will begin with a big letter “C” and conflict with a small letter “c”.